I have given this #yesallwomen conversation a great deal of thought
and though I still stand by what I posted yesterday, I don’t feel that it fully
encompasses my views. I still think that there are better things to be talking
about, but if this is going to be the topic of conversation, I might as well
get my voice in there as well.
I mentioned in yesterday’s article, the experience I had
with a coworker laughingly telling me about a man I worked with making inappropriate
comments about my competency because of my gender. Yep, it was sexist and offensive. However,
of the occasional the gender bias I experience in my male dominated
position, the vast majority of it is an attempt to be considerate (i.e. worried about me getting my
shoes muddy on a dirty job site, or concern about me climbing on a wobbly
table). Sometimes I find it a bit irritating or pandering but I am
NOT a victim.
When I see these male authored articles talking about how I,
as a woman, have “suffered” and how they can “never fully understand what I’ve
been through” it makes me very uncomfortable and here’s why. I haven’t
suffered. These articles give an implied regret if not an outright apology for the painful ordeals that I allegedly endure on a daily basis. It's like having your parents tell you how proud they are of you studying for a test that you cheated on. You didn't study. I didn't suffer. More importantly, I
feel like this victim pandering only further advances the idea of me as weak
and downtrodden due to my gender and plays into the narrative that I need these men to stand up for me and defend me to all the other men out there. Frankly, I find this overall conversation to be more sexist than most of the crap that I deal with on a regular basis. Stop worrying about me because I’m a woman. Seriously,
I’m good… can we talk about something else now?
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